At long last I am now a working person, one that pays taxes, earns to help the family, saves for the future, has the luxury of spending from my own earnings. Yes a delightful feeling. But here’s something interesting I work graveyard shift.
Firstly, I want to make clear I am neither a CSR nor a TSR(just pointing that out no offense or anything). I work for a company that is in the post-trade business as a Data Warehouse Analyst. Well sort of FTP DW analyst. It’s interesting to work in the late hours of the evening through the wee hours of the morning.
I travel from home to the office through public transportation. A series of rides from a tricycle to the train and a jeepney. Some people see it as “kaartehan” to ride the train for 1 station away, but hear me out I am in a corporate attire( think barney from BBT…kidding!), I mostly wear a corporate attire tk the office which means slacks and long sleeves. Imagine if I walk to the next station which is approx 400 meters to the jeepney stop. Perspiration action! It’s like you just got another bath but this time in your own sweat. Now next the jeepney ride, so basically most of the people are returning from work and I’m just about to, the biggest adversity i face when riding the jeepney to work is: BO and my own sweat. As what you would expect from a jeepney jam-packed with people, at times when its your unlucky day you sit beside a gentleman who just came from his job and smells like vinegar and 1 month old socks fermented and blended as his perfume( exquisitely exotic!). Well things can be worst.
As I write this article , I am struggling to get some sleep as the sun has already risen and dispelled the sandman’s magic. This something you cannot really control if you do not have the proper conditions and practice. I use to think this was just like college where I sleep in the early hours of the morning and jump to school when it’s time, guess what:I was WRONG. It’s not that simple if you are to be asleep during the day and awake at night, well being awake a night I can handle. Being asleep during the day poses a bigger issue, you have to deal with the light of the sun, the heat , the noise which my neighbors keep on making during the day and your sleep rhythm. I am working on this article in the hopes to seduce sleep but to no avail. When the you see sunlight your brain is programmed to switch on certain conditions and turn off certain conditions. A very concrete example is me, writing this article because I saw the sun on my way home. I have a hard time sleeping. I do not know if i should ask a doctor about sleeping pills but maybe not. I read some articles about working on night shift. I did follow some tips and I found out first hand that seeing sunlight is one of the biggest factors. And bonus is food the timing of eating your food also affects your body clock.
As a student my peak time is from 10 in the evening towards 3 am. It came very handy at work as its the peak time to be. I work faster during the duration of my peak time. And I notice i am in an environment where people are light hearted and smiles and laughs. Which adds up to the thing that makes you work more comfortably. Here’s another interesting fact: i am alone in the aisle of my cubicle, yes i am one loner kid. And one of my officemates told me that my manager specifically did that on purpose( i don’t know if its a joke or seriously?!) . Well it has its advantages no distractions, but at the same time no conversations.
Thats it for now, if you have suggestions or rants feel free to violate the comments!
Books and film.A tandem that both have the same goal in mind. To capture dreams. Dreams that are made from the world around us. Filling us with hope and enchantments. Books are the first to capture the dreams and message the author wanted the world to know, and film made it come alive. We sée these moving pictures in the interpretation of the director of what the writer dreams about. Adventure, magic, exploration and truths are seen from the perspective of the director.
On the other hand books can be experienced in the perspective and insights of the reader. The feel of the paper flipping from page to page as the excitement grows. Undoubtedly priceless. The reader can be the protagonist in the story or the actor in the film as he will see through the eyes of the lead role as well as the other colorful and dark characters.
Books and film are not rivals but rather a tandem in capturing dreams of authors and the readers or viewers. Dreams are what makes us human. We go against all odds to reach our dreams. In fulfilling our dreams we also fulfill the dreams of people around us.
I never thought I’d be crazy for a girl like I am today. Sometimes I overdo it. I just couldn’t stop myself from doing everything I can to make her happy. I don’t care of they call me corny or anything like that, things may be scary at first when you do stuff that you don’t usually do. It sure scared the hell out me. But in the end I realized I’m doing this because I love her with that I am. She is my inspiration, the love of my life, the fuel that keeps my fire burning.. I couldn’t really pin pinpoint until now why I love her and why I chose her over a hundred girls that are closer to me than her. She may not be perfect in every way but I can say she’s fits perfectly in my life. We may be opposite in the things we look at things, do things and accept things, despite all that we also have something in common…. Out love for each other…I’d do anything for her to be happy..just recently I delivered her printed documents in the middle of the night knowing I won’t get sleep. It’s fine because I get to see her, hug her and kiss her. It’s more rewarding than sleeping it and regret that I would’ve gone to her even if it will cost me hours of my sleep. I may be tried later in the day but I’m satisfied.
Weird it may sound I’m growing fond of having her by my side.. Being close to her.. Having to see her more often than before. In more or less 2 months ill be going back to Iloilo and continue my OJT and won’t be seeing her for a month or so. That idea makes me sad than before. I am used to the feeling of having her near near..where I can just travel for 2 hours in a bus and see her. But in this case I can’t because ill have to travel via plane. And plane tickets are not cheap and it is not practical to travel very often I know she understands that but thinking of it makes me miss her more and more. I want to create more memorable memories with her…
for now I just have to do my best and prove to myself and to everyone that matters to us, that we can endure and grow together..as lovers,best friends ,partners ,and faithful to each other until the end. .
Its a Monday evening my family decided to eat out because we didn’t really had the chance to have a family Donner bonding due to the Christmas party we threw for our barangay.
So we went to find chinese restaurants in search for “maki soup”.. And then we gave up and ate at North Park. At first it was nice..until they set up the plates and utensils. It was the first time in a restaurant that the plate was hand over me instead of placing it on my side of the table. I was disappointed. I let it go. And then we ate. First on the menu was SIOMAI my favorite . As I bit into the heaven given dish. The rainbow vanished and thunderstorms went into my background. It was hard!!!!it was an old stock siomai!!! I was about tp complain but my sister told me tp calm down..later after a few moments my mother said the chicken..chicken had a foul smell..my sister seconded. And here we go! I called the waitress and she did look at me and she just went to the other direction. My brow was raising and my face was showing my side that wants to call the manager. But I gave the floor to my mother and sisters..they know how to handle this kinds of situation waaayyy better than me.
So they did..and when they did they complained about the chicken specifically. Because out family is in the line of business of chicken barbecue. My mom pointed out that the chicken was old and stocked a long time and the siomai again siiooomaaii! Was very … The supervisor tended to us..but she reasoned the smell was from the sauce. Mu mother and sisters don’t want to compromise with the idea. And my sister said “papuntahin m dito chef nyu at makausapin ko tungkol dito”. The supervisor apologized and went for a fresh batch and we just asked for the bill. My other sister asked for a feedback form but to no Avail did that waiter give us anything. It was the worst customer service I had ever experienced for a restaurant with plenty branches. I can say the manager isn’t keen about his people. They don’t even smile or even just put an effort into it.
Now people this is one of the things I want you to remember when you see something wrong about the actions or the food of the food establishment you are eating do not ignore it. You are not only saving yourself but also the people who will eat there too and the establishment itself for it will make them thrive for better service for their customers. It takes 5 minutes to lose customers but it takes months to gain 1..
Happy new year and hope you don’t get to eat at places like that
And oh it was northpark san Juan I’m refering to.
A day in iloilo roaming around searching for something interesting. My first target is coffee break valleria, in the past I have been to this coffee shop. The service was good and they have mugs that are for dine-in customers. I love coffee in cups it makes you welcome and at home.
As I ordered coffee the manager was all smiles. I thought this is the kind of coffee shop I want to be in. ..I made my order and made it outside and find myself a spot. I waited for the coffee and my blueberry cheese cake . And when the coffee finally came the smile on my face was wiped with a speed of 200km/hr. Presentation was Awful.. I didn’t see my leaf theme design on my COFFEE .. I asked the waiter why was it like this.. And he said it varies on the way they make it…I was about to complain back to the manager , when he went out to give me ky change. I complained.. He said if I would like to replace it.. I already poured sugar on the disappointing coffee..but he insisted on replacing it..I accepted the offer and…
Me coffee looks great!..the smile when back and I feel relaxed… So guys if you went to coffee shops or any food establishment don’t settle for less! It’s not only for you but also for the establishment too, it will help them understand that they have to do their best for customers..
Merry Christmas and happy new year guys!
The end of my OJT is fast approaching. I learned a lot of things even just for a short time. You’ll be surprised that a company isn’t defined by advanced equipments alone. Well it definitely surprised me and made me realize a lot of things about the workplace.
It’s really amusing to know that a company isn’t just defined by the advanced equipments alone, but rather the people behind those radio static and deafening engines. People are the most precious resource and the root of most of the aspirin popping action. The diverse personalities and methods are surprisingly well coordinated than expected. When they work comfortably they give their 100% plus more. Mainly in my stay at Panay Power Corporation, I learned more about people and how they do their work in amusing manners. The interaction between colleagues aren’t just professional, but rather family oriented. Each department or individual is dependent on another. You don’t have to be too serious of your work or you’ll end up going crazy.
Ok lets make things clear first..Dencio is a Dog :D. A supercilious uber to the max cute Doggie. And now I didn’t do anything to my pet dogs to get Dencio.:D…now lets proceed.
It was a hot morning and I was again excited to see her again. She’s coming to here to Manila with Ate Lhen. It was early so I went to Seth’s house for a while, we would be going together to Cubao because he asked Acia to buy him buko pie from Los Baños . And their pet doggie, Basil, doesn’t still recognize me and keeps on barking on me. Maybe he’s not use to strangers who are handsome with glasses(Kidding drop the handsome part..hehhe) . and well Seth also wants to take a picture of us because he saw one of my laptops’ wallpaper a good picture but a bit blurry. So he wanted to take a picture with his DSLR(you racist photgs! again kidding.:D) and well we do make a good pair.:D..ok im smiling while typing that it’s a weird but delightful feeling.
We went on to fetch Dencio from Bagong barrio Ministop(thats what the dog breeder told me) at the bus we were excited to see Dencio. As we arrived the doog owner wasn’t there yet so we went into Mini Stop and bought water for the 3 of us. As the Dog breeder came with a red Box with a text “YES!” in it. My feeling was mutual..YES! Dencio is here!. and we went outside to get him(the dog) after which we went to Philcoa and Dencio was a bit too attached to ate Lhen and me.. but Acia was well a bit disappointed because Dencio wouldn’t Come to her..and in the middle of the trip decio peed on my polo..oh well.. but surprisingly the his leak wasn’t nasty. it was scentless.
We arrived at Ate Lhen’s friend’s house . We ate there (YEY free lunch!). and we ate and Dencio was asleep that time and I fed him chicken..He was fast asleep but when I put a strip of chicken upon his nose he starts to sniff and bite..haha everntually he woke up.and he ate..and ate and ate..then we went outside to let him do his deed..and he did several times even.:D
Acia and me decided to go to QC circle for a stroll. We went there the sun was smiling…and we were amused by the place. Its a park. a typical one that has lovers all over.( that includes us..hehehhe) we went to a stone table and chair and placed Dencio there and at first he was sleeping then after a while he was being playful. He played with the cap of the water bottle.he’s really cute.
It was getting Dark and ate Lhen was texting us where we were. So we went to where was ate lhen supposedly. and as we reached our destination the rain started to pour..like raining cats and dogs with a touch of thunder and lightning. And we were at the wrong spot..it was on the other side of where ate lhen was. oh I forgot to mention Dencio was playing near the fountain before it rained. ..heheh and well there we were waiting for the rain to stop but it wasn’t stopping at all..so we decided to go back to the circle again via the underpass. so we did ..She took off her shoes.and asked me ” ok lng ba tanggalin ko sapatos ko? ginagwa ba ng iba to?” I nodded although I was unsure..(peace acia!:P) and we reached the other side and as we stepped into the part the water was 3 inches from my ankle. it was flooding their.wew. So we still went on she still barefooted. and Dencio in her arms..We look like a family..hahahah..the journey went on until we reached the fountain again and I bought her slippers..violet slippers..:Dhahahah… Dencio was well a bit frisky .,,,,,we decided to come back there together without dencio the place was great..:P
and oh here’s Dencio’s video playing at the fountain area
and here are some pcitures.:D
Every year since my childhood I celebrate my birthday with tons of friends and people I hardly know. This year is a different and special than all of it.( As far as my conscious self can remember..:D) I was with my beloved Acia. You know that girl from Los Baños, beautiful eyes, lovely lips, irresistible smile the works!:D..oh by the way my birthday was last Friday September 2, 2011(in case you don’t know)
I went to class in the morning. It was really a very lazy day for me. I don’t want to go to class because I want to be somewhere else. but well I did attend my last 2 classes. after that I begun my journey towards my queen. In my carriage(the H.M liner bus) I was deciding whether to surprise her by going straight to U.P. rather than waiting for her in SM. Calamba. As the conductor walked towards me I instantly decided to go straight to U.P. . As I started the journey I was thinking of ways of surprising her.. anxious , excited and longing to hug her and kiss her..
I arrived at Los Baños and find myself rushing and brisk walking to the jeepney. The trip was shorter that I remembered it. as I arrived at the gates of U.P. I rushed and rushed to their building. I saw Angie on the way and Magie and friends but M and friends didn’t really notice me.( I was surprised how short maggie was I thought he was taller than I am) then i waited anxious and excited and called her around 20 times she didn’t answered I was afraid that she already went to Calamba . and in the nick of time she noticed my call before they got on the jeepney. She was with Lyn. She was already outside the gates and I didn’t see them because I went in U.P. when they were going out.(WEW that was close I thought I would be like some weird guy there waiting for nothing..hehhe).. And we rode the jeepney. off to go to calamba while Lyn went down the jeep not Far from U.P. . When were finally alone I can’t help myself but embrace her and kiss her and kiss her and kiss her and savor her unique scent. my beloved Acia’s Scent…
It was 8:50 pm and we still hadn’t had our dinner. When we arrived at Shakeys I was READY to devour a mountain. We chose Shakey’s because I have a free pepperoni pizza on my birthday.(the card is worth it!) . We. ordered a solo Meatball pasta, root beer float, iced tea and a sundae. i ate the pasta, but i ate only half because it looks that she also wants to taste the meatball..While we were in the middle of the meal She gave me the USB stick where the video she made for me was. I watched the video..and wew..I was so happy…no one has ever made a video for me before.:).. It was a sweet moment.. but not as sweet as she brought out the letter! you hear me? THE LETTER! I adore letters!..and as I read it I felt something in my heard…It touched me..pure honesty..I love my Acia so much..and wait there’s more! She brought out a gift wrapped rectangular thingy., and I opened it and..it was a picture frame. with our best shots..:) Thank God I have her..:) I love you so much my beloved Acia…I pray that we will be the ones that will stand in the altar until the day we watch the sunset together with our white hairs.:)
here’s the video
and some delightful pictures..D:
I am writing this post out of curiosity and emotional outburst. What is life without Dennis? The Dennis that isn’t a good son to his parents. Wastes the money of his brother-in-law and eldest sister on an expensive technical school because he doesn’t do his best. The Dennis that was told that they have high expectations on him. That you must no do anything stupid because you only have one shot at this. The Dennis that everyone sees with a bright smile and radiant aura, but deep inside he is a scared kid that puts up a face that holds him together. The truth is I can’t help but envy people who don’t experience and feel the way I do. I am sensitive person. I am moved by emotions easily. I never fear tears that come from my face, for they are true and from the heart.
At times I have this self-pity syndrome. I pity myself for being a person who cannot do things the way my parents want or the way my relatives that care want. I often think, What is life without Dennis. I can imagine the scene. Without Dennis my mom won’t have to do much effort in giving things I require for my college or anything that I want to have. She doesn’t have to suffer from all the problems that I am giving her as her son. She won’t have problems dealing with relatives that have high expectations on me. I am depressed with the feeling that I cannot do anything to help my mother. So I thought what if I cease to exist in the life of everyone. I don’t really see the importance . There are a lot of people who are worth of what i have right now. For I don’t see any worth in me. I am a disappointment to everyone. To my Dad who want a son that will graduate on time, I failed. To my sister who hopes me to be the one to help the family of what my older sibling failed to do or turned away from the responsibility. The burden is really too much for me but never the less, I still put up a smiling face. A mask that I wear every time I speak to my friend and other people around me. Nobody really understand how I am right now. I am one big joke. half-baked.
As of now, I wish to vanish without a trace as if I never even existed. With that I may assure that thing will work out differently and would have a better outcome. I despise myself. I hate every bit of me. At times I would like to ask the the scythe to run through my neck and judge me. I don’t have the will to be what they want me to be. I am weak, a cowardice, a failure, a disgrace. I wish my string would be cut. for I believe that will give relief to people around me. I throw the white sheet into the ring. I don’t know who I am now.
If anyone has read through this whole post. I thank you..
I am the 5th child in the siblings of 6. I am suddenly the one who is expected of everything my other siblings didn’t achieve. I am expected to be someone who is diligent and one day be the one to help out the family. As of now I don’t see the Family as a whole anymore it’s more of just a name. Every single morning and every single night without fail my mother keeps on giving me sermons of how I failed and that I must be ashamed of being what I am today.
I extended a year in college. At times I feel very useless. Melancholy always fills my heart. Self-pity floods my head. I am really confused. I don’t know what I should do or what I must become. As of date, I hate being Dennis. I loathe Dennis. He is nothing but a burden to his mom. I am indifferent of the things that happen around me. I don’t know why is that so. I am likely in a position where I don’t know where I stand. I am lost in this maze of unending expectations. I don’t know whether to embrace all this expectations and be what they expect me of. or I should be something that I want to be. I don’t see graduation as a door to freedom but a door to the crown of burdens I must bare. I only see work and not happiness. I only see expectations. I only see suffering. I am unsure of things that might happen when I come up that stage and reach for that diploma. I feel miserable. I don’t feel any motivation to go through this. That it is worth it. I sometimes think of ending my line. But it seems that will just worsen the problems at hand my mother needs me to help her. I am in a middle of a dilemma that I can’t escape. My heart is weary and tired. I do not wish to tire myself even more with all this stuff running around my head and my heart. I feel alone. Even if you say that I have my girlfriend. I feel alone. alone in carrying this burden of mine. I do not think I can stop my smoking at this rate. My head is always filled with this thoughts that make me feel agitated and as if I’m going to lose my sanity. I don’t know where to turn to. I don’t know who to talk to. I am in need of help. I feel that I am carrying the burden that my older siblings are supposedly carrying. I can’t do anything now, what is done is done and it cannot be reversed. Mixed and complex emotions are filling me right now. I feel as if I do not have any choice to do what I want to do. I feel pathetic. I don’t know if I should just kill myself so that everything will end. No more expectations, No more sermons. there is just….naught…
Song of Death
Embrace me oh darkness with your scythe
Kiss me with your poison of death
hold me with your blade of blood
comfort me with your blanket of arrows
take me from this world of sorrows
Put me into the pedestal of death
as the scarlet red river flows
bring me peace Da light of death
as I close my eyes and breathe
life leaves my soiled body
Take me oh Grim Reaper.